Pregnancy

Our Birth Story

in ,

I don’t know exactly how to go about writing baby Sami’s birth story, there is a lot I am still processing. But I know I want to record it for my future self before more time slips by and I forget the details. So here goes.

For some context, this pregnancy was hard on me physically and I was so ready to pop Sami out by week 38. I began doing every trick you’ll find on the internet to induce labor from walking in the rain to getting chemical burns on my tongue from too spicy Thai food! Despite my relentless efforts my due date, January 5th, came an went. At my last doctors appointment I wasn’t dilated and my OBGYN was unable to give me a membrane sweep (which I was desperately looking forward to).

I had an induction on the books for 41 weeks (Thursday, January 12) if baby didn’t come sooner so at least I knew the end was near. On the afternoon of Tuesday the 10th I noticed baby boy had been particularly sluggish and the prior night he didn’t have his usual kick fest so my gut told me to call labor and delivery (L&D) about decreased fetal movement. He would wiggle here and there but he just didn’t seem like his usual self. The nurses told me it doesn’t hurt to go in and get monitored. After a little hemming and hawing and with the encouragement of my husband we went in to be safe around 3pm.

The nurses set me up in triage and after about 20 minutes of heartbeat perfection from baby boy they were preparing to send me home. Just before the doctor was to come in I had a contraction. I had been having contractions for weeks and they were very long, 5-10 minutes, and infrequent. Previously I had called L&D about these prolonged contractions and the nurse I spoke with was skeptical they were that long assuming I was timing them incorrectly. We’ll there it was in the monitor, a 8 minute contraction and something else I didn’t expect.

During this contraction a nurse came in asking if I have moved the monitors. I told her no, not knowing why she had asked, but I quickly told her I was experiencing a contraction in case that could be affecting her readings. Without explanation she immediately started trying to reposition me, baby boy’s heart rate had decelerated and wasn’t coming back up in its own as the contraction persisted. Before I knew it she called a code because his heart rate wasn’t coming back up with the repositioning.

As she continued to flip me and turn me I began to quietly sob, I think because I had no idea what was going on and suddenly the room was filled with people in scrubs trying to get baby’s heart rate up. They mentioned a drug to stop my contractions, they tried trendelenburg, and everyone seemed to be taking across me hectically. Finally my contraction subsides, it was at least 7 minutes, and baby’s heart rate went back to normal.

Shortly after the crisis was averted, another nurse came in and informed me we were getting admitted. I was in shock from everything and couldn’t quite process how quickly things escalated. Fast forward I was out of triage and in the room where they would induce me, we went over our birth plan and they put me on a clear fluids diet. By the time I ordered some broth and jello I had another prolonged contraction and again a code was called for baby boy. This time it was longer and harder to get him back but they did with a shot to stop my contractions plus a cervical exam and massage of his head. I was only 1.5-2cm dialated at this point. That’s when they started talking about “fetal intolerance to labor” and the possibility of a C-section. Within the hour my husband and I weighed the options and risks of moving forward with the induction given how baby was reacting to contractions. We opted for the cesarean to hopefully prevent any potential harm, or prolonged stress to baby. It was such a hard decision because I never imagined his birth to go this way and to be very honest I have a fear of surgery, anesthesia, and needles. I felt we were entering my worse case scenario but I also felt a wave of courage to just get through it for Sami.

Pretty quickly after we decided the ball was moving. We opted for a spinal over general anesthesia despite me having eaten recently so that my husband could be in the room with me during surgery. I was in the operating room maybe 3 hours after showing up to triage that afternoon. Everything just happened so fast and I’m still processing it. Overall the C-section went well despite my fears. The only minor complication was that the first spinal anesthesia didn’t work properly and the CNRA spent a lot of time poking me with a needle to confirm until the anesthesiologist finally administered another while I was laying on my side shivering from the IVs. Once my husband was allowed in the room everything was much better. The operation felt fast, it’s a surreal experience feeling the pushing and tugging, hearing them operate but not feeling any pain. 

As for his birth, I was told to expect a pressure on my chest and shortly after our baby was out at 8:43pm. After a what felt like a long pause I finally heard him cry. I cry just remembering this. The NICU team took him first and then let my husband see him and cut his cord. He was wailing and I was waiting for updates. Eventually they brought him to me as I was getting sewn up and put his head beside mine. As soon as I spoke to him he stopped crying, my baby recognized my voice.

Fast forward we spent 2 days in the hospital both baby and I are healthy, and I am recovering slowly. The whole experience still feels surreal and if it wasn’t for this beautiful baby boy lying here in my lap I wouldn’t believe it actually happened. Overall I am just grateful for that I trusted my gut, grateful for the amazing medical professionals who took such good care of us, and grateful for my incredible husband who has been an endless source of strength and courage.

PS- Sami was born a healthy 8lbs 9oz and 21” long.

Third Trimester Must Haves

in ,

As I began preparing this third trimester favorites post I realized I enjoyed a few specific categories of things, versus just items themselves. The third trimester Was uncomfortable for me, so anything that could add some physical comfort I was all about. Then the looming arrival of baby created an urge to consume as much information I could to prepare for his first days at home, cue the books and blogs! Lastly, I wanted to savor the last weeks of just being a twosome with my husband. I got into film photography and tried to journal (or blog) as much as possible.

Here are some things that I particularly loved:

Water tumbler with a straw - really you should just get one of these as soon as you find out your pregnant. I thought my old canteens would do, but having a straw and well insulated water adds just a little extra ease that you need when everything feels hard. Spoiler, this will also come in super handy when you’re trapped under your newborn in the first few months!

Birkenstocks - whether your feet have grown out of your shoes or everything is simply uncomfortable, you can’t go wrong with a pair of Birks.

Laneige Water Sleeping Mask - this is my all time favorite skincare product and fortunately one of the few pregnancy friendly, mildly scented products I could tolerate. It adds lots of hydration and served as an end of day reminder that I was one day closer to meeting little one.

Essential Oil Diffuser - any small diffuser is such a game changer for when anxiety strikes. My preference was to add a tiny bit of eucalyptus oil and just before bed. This will also come in handy if you plan to try hypnobirthing.

A journal - or anywhere to write down and process your thoughts. My favorite notebooks are the Midori dotted, or lined ones. They are beautiful, high quality and lie flat.

Month 9 Diary

in ,

We are so ready for you little boy. We still haven’t settled on your name, I think we need to meet you first before making that decision.

After all these months of tracking your development, I can’t believe there is a fully grown baby inside of me. I can’t believe it on one hand, but on the other my physical discomfort tells another story. Fortunately, I have started my maternity leave and truly it is needed. The exhaustion and pain are depleting my mental faculties. Most of my thoughts a consumed with the little tasks I want to accomplish before you arrive like organizing closets and hemming curtains I should have hemmed months ago.

It helps that we are playing the waiting game during the holidays, but it would be nicer if you were here with us… next year will be so much fun doing all the holiday activities with you. I hope you love baking with me. And crafts too.

Month 8 Diary

in ,

Oh boy, we are getting to the final stretch. Belly is bigger than ever and the house has been coming together in preparation for you, our new roomie. We had our baby shower a couple of weeks ago and it was small, lovely, and just the way I wanted to celebrate you. Unfortunately, promptly after we caught covid (I won’t tell you which of your loving aunts blessed us with that gift!), but fortunately we are much better now and back in preparation mode.

I only have 2 weeks until my maternity leave starts, which has been stressful. It will be a reality check to let go of work and accept a new routine, but I am excited for the challenge and mostly excited to be 100% present with you. It will also be nice for dad and I to celebrate our last holiday season as a duo. And even better for me to be able to lounge around the house, as I am experience more and more discomfort and pain by the day. Our 9th anniversary is just days before your due date so who knows what that will look like, regardless we are incredibly eager to meet you and wouldn’t mind in the least if you came early to celebrate with us. Just a month or so to go little one, see you very soon!

Month 7 Diary

in ,

We’re seven months in and you’ve become the cutest little wiggle worm ever. At 29 weeks we did a 3D ultrasound to see a sneak peek of you and you somehow were on your very best behavior! You slept through the entire scan, only slightly waking here and there when the techs probe disturbed you. We watched you yawn, and snooze on your right arm, bent back just the way I sleep. We were all charmed by you and are even more eager to meet you in person.

I can tell you are growing faster than ever because I am constantly hungry and I can feel you stretch in attempt to make more room for yourself. I feel bad that you are only going to get more cramped from here on, but I promise we’ll make up to you with all the little luxuries we’ve been preparing.

Second Trimester Must Haves

in ,

Woo! The first trimester is over (thank goodness) but now there is a whole new phase of pregnancy to face. Here are a few items that made my 2nd trimester a lot more tolerable.

Balance Ball - Buy one early, I’ll say the same for the belly band in a moment. While early on you may not see a big change to your body and belly, rest assured changes are taking place and a balance/yoga ball will be one of the most comfortable places to sit. It will also come in handy as the baby grows and you prepare for labor. I even would sit on the ball when the baby would get into awkward positions and somehow it helped to reposition him.

Belly Band - I experienced a lot of round ligament pain and the only thing that kept me mobile from early on was my belly band. Even bore I was showing much it significantly helped, get one sooner than later, I promise it will help with the random aches and pains.

Babyletto Sigi glider - If you’re planning to get a comfy nursing chair you may as well get it now. I love mine and am so happy we splurged on something comfy and high quality because I’ve been using it for months now and sometimes it’s the only chair that eases my back aches and pains.

Cushionaire Slippers - I experienced a lot of foot pain as my body changed and these slippers came in to save the day. They are cute and I’d only wear them around the house, but it was exactly what I needed to relieve the pain. I think they may also be good if you experience foot swelling as well.

Handheld fan - I also experienced a lot of hot flashes (it didn’t help that I went through my second trimester in the summer), and just ran very hot throughout this pregnancy. Instead of freezing out my husband and blasting the AC I just kept a cute rechargeable electric fan by my side and it did the trick. Mine even has a mister but I never needed to use it.

Month 6 Diary

in ,

I cannot believe we are here. We are just about to leave the 2nd trimester and enter the last stretch of sharing this body of mine. You are growing so quickly, I am hungrier everyday (hungry as I type!) and the bump you call home is getting harder to hide. I love my little bump and all the activity you produce inside. Your kicks, wiggles, and punches are getting stronger by the day. We play a game now where I put my hand on my stomach and you seem to find it giving me a little thump to each place I move it. You’ve also stopped being so bashful when your dad touches the belly and you kick him just as hard as me. You used to go still at his touch every time and I wondered if you were trolling him or just hesitant to kick and unfamiliar person (how polite indeed).

The crib went up this week, your dad put it together eagerly as soon as it arrived. It brings us so much joy seeing it in our room, imagining you sleeping sweetly in it so soon.

I’ve also told folks at my job now and you have been getting so many well wishes already. The world is waiting for you, no one more eagerly than dad and I though.

Month 5 Diary

in ,

My energy is significantly better and yours is off the charts. You love to wiggle and thump, and your kicks have gotten strong enough that we can see the skin of my belly protrude out as you explore your boundaries. I had a scare a this month when you were stiller than usual for two consecutive days. I missed your early morning dance wake up call and your evening dance session. Fortunately you were back to normal and feeling heavier than ever after those days passed. Maybe you were tired from a little growth spurt?

You seem to like when I sing along to songs in the car, or maybe you’re trying to tell me to knock it off. Either way it’s funny to feel you activate as I am driving to work or serenading your dad. Some days I look down at my belly and can’t believe you are in there. It is still surreal to me that you are having your own independent experience of life, right there tied to mine yet completely different. I asked your dad recently what could you be thinking. My theory is that you’re in the womb, present in a way that will be lost after some time earthside. Just experiencing each moment, not lost in the past or pondering the future. It’s comforting for me to believe.

This month you also went on your first road trip! Your auntie and uncle, Alissa and Saleh, came to visit and we have a fantastic time. They love you so much already. Although it seemed that anytime anyone other than me touches my belly you like to stop moving! Trolling us maybe? Eventually Alissa did catch your thumps after about a week of trying. It’s like whale watching, patience patience. All in all it was a wonderful vacation. We can’t wait for you to meet all of your family and to take you on road-trips when you’re here.

Glimpses of Our Baby Shower

in

In early November we had our hybrid (virtual/in person) baby shower to celebrate baby and it was better than I could have expected. I was initially on the fence about celebrating given the holidays and covid, but in the end my sister and cousin convinced me and I am so glad they did! Here are a few shots from the set-up and you can find a some more on my Instagram.

Month 4 Diary

in ,

What a big month for us all. We made it through the first trimester together, a feat I truly wasn’t sure of at times. This month I started gaining my weight back, all in the belly. I finally began to look pregnant although my little bump has been easy to hide. I take each day as it comes, many are good but some are tough, and this new found pregnancy insomnia has appeared out of nowhere. Regardless, I feel more like my self and incredibly grateful to have most of my first trimester symptoms lessening.

Around 17 weeks I was pretty sure I felt you moving around down there. You felt like little bubbles popping and eventually tiny little thumps. Our doctor confirmed that I have a posterior placenta so I was indeed feeling you moving around (and not just hallucinating your quickening!).

This month (well really week 19) we had our second trimester genetic screening and anatomy scan. And you are doing amazing, we are so relieved and even more proud. I never thought the parental pride could kick in so soon, but I am swelling with it. During the 7am scan you were so active, my fault for scheduling it during one of your most active periods. And I am sure the orange juice I drank that morning didn’t help. But the tech was still able to get pictures of every part of you. We did realize that the placenta is a little too low, so we are watching that, but I am optimistic it will resolve itself.

Month 3 Diary

in ,

This month has been another tough one. But the biggest highlight has been getting our NIPT test and NT scan results back! You are looking healthy and we found out your gender, you’re a boy! I like to joke that you’ll be just like your daddy, another Capricorn man will be living in our home and I am not mad about it. Hopefully you’ll grow to be an amazing person just like him.

As for me, I am still suffering from nausea, vomiting, aversions, fatigue, and weight loss. It’s tough, but knowing that you are well and thriving keeps me going.

Baby Shower Planning

in

Now that I am officially in my 3rd trimester, I have been looking forward to celebrating baby with my closest family members. I’ve never been one for throwing extravagant parties; my partner and I eloped, I never had big graduation parties, typically I like to keep things low key. But let’s just say the journey into parenthood has changed that! My lovely sister and cousin are hosting this event, but I got to plan the “artistic direction.” I knew I wanted something soft and filled with flowers. I also wanted the colors to be gender neutral and more about what I liked than a color representing baby. Here’s what we came up with!

We’ll like order our catering from a local mediterranean grill. I am thinking chicken kebabs, rice, salad, and a few delicious mezze dips. For dessert we found a lovely local cake maker who bakes stunning naked cakes. We’re also planning to bake cookies that will also make it into the take-home goodie bags. As far as drinks, we will have an assortment of Italian sodas and my sister and cousin are planning peach bellinis.

As far as take home gifts for our guests, I fell in love with P.F. Candle Co’s “Golden Coast” scent on my recent road trip (up the golden coast!). We’re going to gift those candles with the homemade cookies and incense bundles.

Decor wise we are planning to make fresh floral bouquets, hang delicate bunting here and there, using pretty compostable tableware to brighten things up, and create a very dramatic balloon garland!

What We’ve Purchased

Balloon Garland

Crepe Paper Bunting

Custom Invitations

Small Plates

Large Plates

Cocktail Scalloped Napkin

Large Scalloped Napkins

Wooden Cutlery

Cupcake Wrapper

Cookie Sleeves

Gift Bags

Decorative Ribbon

That’s all for now! I’ll try to share how the party shapes up and include some of the activities my generous hosts incorporate!

Month 2 Diary

in

We’re pregnant! I cannot believe it. You are just an itty bitty clump of cells but will soon become our newest family member. This news is a whirlwind of emotions and excitement. I am dying to scream it from the rooftops but and hesitant to tell anyone because nothing feels certain. The month before you we had a very early loss, so we are proceeding with cautious optimism. But this time it feels like perfect timing. In my heart I know you are on your way.

After our first faint positive pregnancy test I kept testing my HG levels every day (from April 30th to May 11th), slowly watching the line darken as my hormone level rose. Eventually we finally saw you on an ultrasound. Hearing your heartbeat for the first time (on May 31st) brought tears to me and your daddy’s eyes. It was the most magical moment and we fell in love with you right then and there.

First Trimester Must Haves

in ,

Hello from the other end of my first (and second) trimester! This spring I went MIA because I was super sick, but sick for the best reason possible. I am expecting! My husband and I are over the moon excited but we’re also utterly unprepared for the reality check my first trimester had in store. I had very severe “morning” sickness, aversions, sensitivity to smell, and fatigue. Honestly fatigue is an understatement in comparison to what it felt like. Needless to say it was tough and my life became focused on basic survival. Eat, hydrate, work from bed, and sleep with a desperate shower thrown in there somewhere.

Now that I am on the other side of that (knocks on wood) I have a reflections on what made those first months a bit more bearable.

If this is your first time pregnancy (or know a newly pregnant person) the first thing you should invest in is a pregnancy pillow, and invest in it early. Sleep is such a precious thing throughout pregnancy, a precious but fleeting thing. Don’t think you need to have a full blown belly to start using one. I love my bbhugme body pillow and wish I had bought it even sooner. I spent countless hours in bed sick and this pillow gave me the extra comfort I needed to rest in different positions comfortable. And my husband has already called dibs on it postpartum!

My Oak Essentials Dew Oil, was a savior for my dry skin and growing belly. I had very severe aversions to smells and this was one of the few products in my bathroom that I could stand during the worst of my first trimester nausea. You can get 15% off all Oak Essentials and Jenni Kayne products with my affiliate code GINAS15 at jennikayne.com.

Because I was in bed and unwell for so long, my airpods became my best friend. I loved having them at my bedside to take calls, listen to music and audiobooks, and simply keep me company during my misery! I can’t tell you how incredibly boring it was for my to be physically unable to do anything so having reliable and comfortable headphones was essential.

On the topic of entertainment during the first trimester, I found the book Nurture by Erica Chidi to be a gentle and reassuring introduction in to pregnancy and partenthood. Chidi emphasizes trusting your intuition and body, and not falling into the trap of comparison. This is a great gift for new and experienced parents alike!

Another most loved item was a cozy robe to hg my body as it underwent so many rapid changes. I actually ended up getting one heavyweight robe for cooler days and a lightweight one for warmer ones. My favorite brand for robes has been Coyuchi and I highly recommend the waffle robe and solstice robe. And if you use my referral link, you can get $60 off purchases of $300 (and I’ll get a $60 credit too!).

Lastly, a foot massager was absolutely essential for me. Despite actually loosing weight in my first trimester (so no extra weight from baby adding pressure) and rarely being out of bed, I experienced some severe foot pain. The practice of daily reflexology became one of the few self care activities I had the energy for and if made such a difference. Before bed I would just roll my feet along the device and suddenly the stress began melt away and I could climb back into bed.