Bump Months

Our Birth Story

I don’t know exactly how to go about writing baby Sami’s birth story, there is a lot I am still processing. But I know I want to record it for my future self before more time slips by and I forget the details. So here goes.

For some context, this pregnancy was hard on me physically and I was so ready to pop Sami out by week 38. I began doing every trick you’ll find on the internet to induce labor from walking in the rain to getting chemical burns on my tongue from too spicy Thai food! Despite my relentless efforts my due date, January 5th, came an went. At my last doctors appointment I wasn’t dilated and my OBGYN was unable to give me a membrane sweep (which I was desperately looking forward to).

I had an induction on the books for 41 weeks (Thursday, January 12) if baby didn’t come sooner so at least I knew the end was near. On the afternoon of Tuesday the 10th I noticed baby boy had been particularly sluggish and the prior night he didn’t have his usual kick fest so my gut told me to call labor and delivery (L&D) about decreased fetal movement. He would wiggle here and there but he just didn’t seem like his usual self. The nurses told me it doesn’t hurt to go in and get monitored. After a little hemming and hawing and with the encouragement of my husband we went in to be safe around 3pm.

The nurses set me up in triage and after about 20 minutes of heartbeat perfection from baby boy they were preparing to send me home. Just before the doctor was to come in I had a contraction. I had been having contractions for weeks and they were very long, 5-10 minutes, and infrequent. Previously I had called L&D about these prolonged contractions and the nurse I spoke with was skeptical they were that long assuming I was timing them incorrectly. We’ll there it was in the monitor, a 8 minute contraction and something else I didn’t expect.

During this contraction a nurse came in asking if I have moved the monitors. I told her no, not knowing why she had asked, but I quickly told her I was experiencing a contraction in case that could be affecting her readings. Without explanation she immediately started trying to reposition me, baby boy’s heart rate had decelerated and wasn’t coming back up in its own as the contraction persisted. Before I knew it she called a code because his heart rate wasn’t coming back up with the repositioning.

As she continued to flip me and turn me I began to quietly sob, I think because I had no idea what was going on and suddenly the room was filled with people in scrubs trying to get baby’s heart rate up. They mentioned a drug to stop my contractions, they tried trendelenburg, and everyone seemed to be taking across me hectically. Finally my contraction subsides, it was at least 7 minutes, and baby’s heart rate went back to normal.

Shortly after the crisis was averted, another nurse came in and informed me we were getting admitted. I was in shock from everything and couldn’t quite process how quickly things escalated. Fast forward I was out of triage and in the room where they would induce me, we went over our birth plan and they put me on a clear fluids diet. By the time I ordered some broth and jello I had another prolonged contraction and again a code was called for baby boy. This time it was longer and harder to get him back but they did with a shot to stop my contractions plus a cervical exam and massage of his head. I was only 1.5-2cm dialated at this point. That’s when they started talking about “fetal intolerance to labor” and the possibility of a C-section. Within the hour my husband and I weighed the options and risks of moving forward with the induction given how baby was reacting to contractions. We opted for the cesarean to hopefully prevent any potential harm, or prolonged stress to baby. It was such a hard decision because I never imagined his birth to go this way and to be very honest I have a fear of surgery, anesthesia, and needles. I felt we were entering my worse case scenario but I also felt a wave of courage to just get through it for Sami.

Pretty quickly after we decided the ball was moving. We opted for a spinal over general anesthesia despite me having eaten recently so that my husband could be in the room with me during surgery. I was in the operating room maybe 3 hours after showing up to triage that afternoon. Everything just happened so fast and I’m still processing it. Overall the C-section went well despite my fears. The only minor complication was that the first spinal anesthesia didn’t work properly and the CNRA spent a lot of time poking me with a needle to confirm until the anesthesiologist finally administered another while I was laying on my side shivering from the IVs. Once my husband was allowed in the room everything was much better. The operation felt fast, it’s a surreal experience feeling the pushing and tugging, hearing them operate but not feeling any pain. 

As for his birth, I was told to expect a pressure on my chest and shortly after our baby was out at 8:43pm. After a what felt like a long pause I finally heard him cry. I cry just remembering this. The NICU team took him first and then let my husband see him and cut his cord. He was wailing and I was waiting for updates. Eventually they brought him to me as I was getting sewn up and put his head beside mine. As soon as I spoke to him he stopped crying, my baby recognized my voice.

Fast forward we spent 2 days in the hospital both baby and I are healthy, and I am recovering slowly. The whole experience still feels surreal and if it wasn’t for this beautiful baby boy lying here in my lap I wouldn’t believe it actually happened. Overall I am just grateful for that I trusted my gut, grateful for the amazing medical professionals who took such good care of us, and grateful for my incredible husband who has been an endless source of strength and courage.

PS- Sami was born a healthy 8lbs 9oz and 21” long.

Month 9 Diary

We are so ready for you little boy. We still haven’t settled on your name, I think we need to meet you first before making that decision.

After all these months of tracking your development, I can’t believe there is a fully grown baby inside of me. I can’t believe it on one hand, but on the other my physical discomfort tells another story. Fortunately, I have started my maternity leave and truly it is needed. The exhaustion and pain are depleting my mental faculties. Most of my thoughts a consumed with the little tasks I want to accomplish before you arrive like organizing closets and hemming curtains I should have hemmed months ago.

It helps that we are playing the waiting game during the holidays, but it would be nicer if you were here with us… next year will be so much fun doing all the holiday activities with you. I hope you love baking with me. And crafts too.

Month 8 Diary

Oh boy, we are getting to the final stretch. Belly is bigger than ever and the house has been coming together in preparation for you, our new roomie. We had our baby shower a couple of weeks ago and it was small, lovely, and just the way I wanted to celebrate you. Unfortunately, promptly after we caught covid (I won’t tell you which of your loving aunts blessed us with that gift!), but fortunately we are much better now and back in preparation mode.

I only have 2 weeks until my maternity leave starts, which has been stressful. It will be a reality check to let go of work and accept a new routine, but I am excited for the challenge and mostly excited to be 100% present with you. It will also be nice for dad and I to celebrate our last holiday season as a duo. And even better for me to be able to lounge around the house, as I am experience more and more discomfort and pain by the day. Our 9th anniversary is just days before your due date so who knows what that will look like, regardless we are incredibly eager to meet you and wouldn’t mind in the least if you came early to celebrate with us. Just a month or so to go little one, see you very soon!

Month 7 Diary

We’re seven months in and you’ve become the cutest little wiggle worm ever. At 29 weeks we did a 3D ultrasound to see a sneak peek of you and you somehow were on your very best behavior! You slept through the entire scan, only slightly waking here and there when the techs probe disturbed you. We watched you yawn, and snooze on your right arm, bent back just the way I sleep. We were all charmed by you and are even more eager to meet you in person.

I can tell you are growing faster than ever because I am constantly hungry and I can feel you stretch in attempt to make more room for yourself. I feel bad that you are only going to get more cramped from here on, but I promise we’ll make up to you with all the little luxuries we’ve been preparing.

Month 6 Diary

I cannot believe we are here. We are just about to leave the 2nd trimester and enter the last stretch of sharing this body of mine. You are growing so quickly, I am hungrier everyday (hungry as I type!) and the bump you call home is getting harder to hide. I love my little bump and all the activity you produce inside. Your kicks, wiggles, and punches are getting stronger by the day. We play a game now where I put my hand on my stomach and you seem to find it giving me a little thump to each place I move it. You’ve also stopped being so bashful when your dad touches the belly and you kick him just as hard as me. You used to go still at his touch every time and I wondered if you were trolling him or just hesitant to kick and unfamiliar person (how polite indeed).

The crib went up this week, your dad put it together eagerly as soon as it arrived. It brings us so much joy seeing it in our room, imagining you sleeping sweetly in it so soon.

I’ve also told folks at my job now and you have been getting so many well wishes already. The world is waiting for you, no one more eagerly than dad and I though.

Month 5 Diary

My energy is significantly better and yours is off the charts. You love to wiggle and thump, and your kicks have gotten strong enough that we can see the skin of my belly protrude out as you explore your boundaries. I had a scare a this month when you were stiller than usual for two consecutive days. I missed your early morning dance wake up call and your evening dance session. Fortunately you were back to normal and feeling heavier than ever after those days passed. Maybe you were tired from a little growth spurt?

You seem to like when I sing along to songs in the car, or maybe you’re trying to tell me to knock it off. Either way it’s funny to feel you activate as I am driving to work or serenading your dad. Some days I look down at my belly and can’t believe you are in there. It is still surreal to me that you are having your own independent experience of life, right there tied to mine yet completely different. I asked your dad recently what could you be thinking. My theory is that you’re in the womb, present in a way that will be lost after some time earthside. Just experiencing each moment, not lost in the past or pondering the future. It’s comforting for me to believe.

This month you also went on your first road trip! Your auntie and uncle, Alissa and Saleh, came to visit and we have a fantastic time. They love you so much already. Although it seemed that anytime anyone other than me touches my belly you like to stop moving! Trolling us maybe? Eventually Alissa did catch your thumps after about a week of trying. It’s like whale watching, patience patience. All in all it was a wonderful vacation. We can’t wait for you to meet all of your family and to take you on road-trips when you’re here.

Month 4 Diary

What a big month for us all. We made it through the first trimester together, a feat I truly wasn’t sure of at times. This month I started gaining my weight back, all in the belly. I finally began to look pregnant although my little bump has been easy to hide. I take each day as it comes, many are good but some are tough, and this new found pregnancy insomnia has appeared out of nowhere. Regardless, I feel more like my self and incredibly grateful to have most of my first trimester symptoms lessening.

Around 17 weeks I was pretty sure I felt you moving around down there. You felt like little bubbles popping and eventually tiny little thumps. Our doctor confirmed that I have a posterior placenta so I was indeed feeling you moving around (and not just hallucinating your quickening!).

This month (well really week 19) we had our second trimester genetic screening and anatomy scan. And you are doing amazing, we are so relieved and even more proud. I never thought the parental pride could kick in so soon, but I am swelling with it. During the 7am scan you were so active, my fault for scheduling it during one of your most active periods. And I am sure the orange juice I drank that morning didn’t help. But the tech was still able to get pictures of every part of you. We did realize that the placenta is a little too low, so we are watching that, but I am optimistic it will resolve itself.

Month 3 Diary

This month has been another tough one. But the biggest highlight has been getting our NIPT test and NT scan results back! You are looking healthy and we found out your gender, you’re a boy! I like to joke that you’ll be just like your daddy, another Capricorn man will be living in our home and I am not mad about it. Hopefully you’ll grow to be an amazing person just like him.

As for me, I am still suffering from nausea, vomiting, aversions, fatigue, and weight loss. It’s tough, but knowing that you are well and thriving keeps me going.

Month 2 Diary

We’re pregnant! I cannot believe it. You are just an itty bitty clump of cells but will soon become our newest family member. This news is a whirlwind of emotions and excitement. I am dying to scream it from the rooftops but and hesitant to tell anyone because nothing feels certain. The month before you we had a very early loss, so we are proceeding with cautious optimism. But this time it feels like perfect timing. In my heart I know you are on your way.

After our first faint positive pregnancy test I kept testing my HG levels every day (from April 30th to May 11th), slowly watching the line darken as my hormone level rose. Eventually we finally saw you on an ultrasound. Hearing your heartbeat for the first time (on May 31st) brought tears to me and your daddy’s eyes. It was the most magical moment and we fell in love with you right then and there.